What I have learned….
I have recently been reflecting upon the last 18 months of my life. Two big things have happened in the past 18 months. 1. I got married and 2. I have been on a sabbatical from my career. I say a sabbatical from my career, but that may be an optimistic term considering I am not sure if it even launched before taking the “sabbatical.” What is more truthful is probably that I took a step back in the professional world, and I chose to examine what my passion includes both as a career and personally. It seems like I may have planned to have these two events occur simultaneously, but consciously, I didn’t see it coming.
In the past 18 months, I have struggled with the fact that I took a break from the counseling field. I didn’t give up, but I did not give in to my urgency to get my professional license and get on with my career. It was so tempting to ignore my burnout and keep working toward something that was starting to feel superficial. I am unable to do things if my heart is not in it. Actually, I can do things when my heart is not in it, but there is no fulfillment for me. When something is an inconvenience, I know I am no good to it. If I am no good and I don’t have something to offer, than I am no good to anyone. I think that is the hardest thing to remember in life. We want to help and reach out to others, but we must take care of ourselves in order to be able to help. Otherwise, we are the blind leading the blind.
Either way I look at this past 18 months, I am reassured of several things that I would like to take a moment to reflect on:
I have learned….
1. I am much more available emotionally when I am not working as a counselor.
2. I do not want to work with people or populations that aren’t willing or desire to make changes in their life.
3. I am physically and emotionally incapable of rescuing everyone I come in contact with.
4. I am capable of having a lot of patience and working with people who are struggling deeply; however, I don’t have much left of myself after.
5. That even if counseling is not my career, the skills I learned are going to be invaluable as a parent. ( I have my hubby to thank for helping me realize that one).
6. When I am transition, I am a mess and routine and consistency is the only tangible resource that will ground me.
7. I don’t have to be perfect or have it all together to be a counselor. I am easier to relate to if I am understanding the confusion a client is going through.
8. Being in front of people and speaking fuels my energy more than anything else. I crave to teach and witness growth in individuals.
9. Absence does and has made the heart grow fonder for working in the helping field. I am just not ready quite yet to dive back in…..I think baby steps would be a better option for me.
10. I cannot change someone’s reality for them; I can only do things in our short time together that will hopefully give them a new perspective on their reality.
11. Counseling others can be a passion, but doesn’t have to be a career in order to fulfill its purpose.
12. If you don’t make an effort to stay connected to something, you will lose touch with it by nature. The effort is either there or isn’t…there is no need to force it.
13. Someone needs to really, really, really want to change in order for any change to occur. As a counselor, I am there as a cheerleader for the change they decide they want. They have to decide to want it or else it will not last.
14. Personally, I want to be a good wife and a good mother. I want to be there for the people I love when they are hurting. I want to achieve a level of awareness that will not distract me from those things. If I become too involved in my career, then I am failing personally.
15. I can be a crisis counselor, do it well, and even enjoy it. I can’t be one and accomplish the things above.
16. A career is not defining me like I once thought it would. I enjoy working and being useful, but i am starting to appreciate more the simple tasks in a work day that allow energy for my most valuable time outside of work.
17. I may never feel completely right about where I am professionally or personally, but as long as I have the desire to keep searching, I know I will be okay.
